Children don’t want to be punished so they lie or withhold the truth.Īs a kid if we broke something like a vase while playing we made pact with our friends or sibling not to tell. If they are playing with something that they shouldn’t play with they don’t confess the truth. We lied in order to build trust and loyalty: If kids are playing and they break something they try to hide it.We lied to our parents so we didn’t get punished. We didn’t mention the jumping off the roof part. My friend’s mom came home later in the afternoon and asked us what we had been doing all afternoon. One of the cool things we did was climb onto the garage roof and jump off into grass. We lie so we don’t get punished or hurt: When I was in grade school I was visiting my friends house after school.When the host asked, “How was the meal?” we did the polite thing and told them how much we enjoyed it. If we really hated it we might have slid it under the table to the dog so it looked like we ate it. When we were kids, and we visited relatives or friends we ate whatever they served for dinner even if we didn’t like it. We learned to lie in order to be polite and respectful: Just for starters we learned to lie in order to be polite.You then have an opportunity to deal with the situation in a way that isn’t driven out of emotional reactions. When you are aware that someone lied to you because they were trained by other people and circumstances you won’t take it personally. You just no longer have emotional reactions about it. This doesn’t mean you learn to condone lying or agree with it. As your expectations change the judgments in your mind dissolve along with your emotional reactions to them. When you are aware of how people are socialized your expectations change. Our social conditioning has trained us to be liars to some degree. We’ll start by understanding how someone becomes a liar to begin with. With awareness you can deal with a liar without being upset. The first step in dealing with liars or emotional issues is awareness. The motivator for wanting someone to stop lying is so that you don’t end up unhappy. If you are honest with the situation you will realize that your happiness is more important than their behavior anyways. Once you learn to change your emotions about a situation you begin to see a lot more options. You can’t always change the behavior of a liar, but you can change how you feel and react to them. The most important aspect to master when dealing with a liar is your emotional reactions. Compulsive Liars and how to deal with them
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